Louis J. Coccaro died at 11:52 pm Tuesday, April 27, 2010. He was my best friend in Bradley Beach, a beloved father, grandfather, and a true friend to hundreds besides me. Maybe thousands. I don’t know anybody who had as many friends as Lou.

Lou was a D-Day+3 invader, who earned three Battle Stars and a Purple Heart during World War II. He made a career as a Jersey City police officer, first walking a beat, then later as a detective. Lou was elected to the Jersey City Council with more than 29,000 votes, many of which he credits to friends he made while walking the beat. He proudly recalled introducing an ordinance in Jersey City that laid the groundwork for all of the waterfront development we see there today. He chaired or vice-chaired the boards of directors of the Jersey City Housing Authority and Jersey City Medical Center. He co-founded Hudson Hospice. He was a natural leader, who understood people.

Lou loved serving on the Bradley Beach Planning Board, and was always thinking of the future, and how to make things better both now and in the future. He was a bit of a crusader. If he didn’t think something was right, he’d tell you so, flat out. But he had such a joy for life, and an obvious compassion for all mankind, that if you had any brains or heart, you just couldn’t be angry with him.

Lou had hands the size of catcher’s mitts, but he knew how to sew. Even though he was 89 and I’m, you know, barely out of my 30s, we saw a lot of things the same way. Family, relationships, politics, human nature. We both loved that first sip of a really cold beer, and a hot craps table. He’d steam the stamps off envelopes, but never let you pick up a dinner check. Like any good Italian, he wasn’t happy unless he could get you to eat something.

Lou had asked me to help him write a book this year — his life story – which he planned to entitle “Wireless to Wireless,” because he started life in the telegraph era and was now living in the wireless network era. What a great title.

Lou Coccaro was a great man, and a firm believer in telling the truth. “Bring it out” he always said. “Bring it out.” He taught me a lot, and always lifted me up. He was really a tower of strength. I’m blessed to have had him in my life and so are those of you who knew him.

My heart is broken. I wish I could have my best friend back, and I’m glad to have had him while I did.

Should you wish to pay tribute to Lou, his family believes that donations to Hudson Hospice would honor his memory in a way that would have delighted him.  Hudson Hospice Volunteers, Inc, 93 Clerk St, Jersey City, NJ 07305.

This year the Borough held its Veterans Day observance in the Biase Center on Wednesday, November 11, at 11 am. In attendance were some of Bradley Beach’s veterans, the eighth grade class from Bradley Beach Elementary School, members of the Writers of the Round Table, members of the Seniors Club, other residents, Chief Guida, and Borough Administrator O’Reilly. Seniors Club President Rae Tutela played the “Star Spangled Banner” on the piano and we sang it. Council President Engelstad paid tribute to all veterans, including his late father, who declined to watch “Saving Private Ryan” with the councilman, noting that he didn’t need to see it, as he’d seen it in real life and didn’t wish to relive it. The councilman also spoke movingly of the courage and sacrifice of the current generation of veterans and soon to be veterans serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. I spoke as well about the staggering sacrifices made by veterans of past wars and the current generation of veterans. Members of the public then offered their thanks to our veterans. The full text of my own remarks follows.

Thank you, Veterans, of World War II, Korea, Vietnam, the Persian Gulf, Iraq, Afghanistan. And welcome to you who are here to acknowledge our Veterans. Thank you, Veterans, for having put your lives on the line, to defend the Constitution. Thank you for sacrificing some of the best years of your lives, and in some cases your health or peace of mind, or both, for the sake of your fellow Americans.

For several years, the American Legion Post for Bradley Beach has organized a Veterans Day observance here, where (as a wise person recently pointed out to me) a group of our veterans gathers and more or less asks the rest of us pay attention to them.

When our American Legion members have spoken here in the past, they have not stood here and asked us for anything for themselves. They have not decried the difficulties veterans have in obtaining health care, housing, or employment. They have not criticized the rest of us for failing to appreciate what our wars have cost them, and continue to cost a new generation of veterans. They’ve not chastised us for how little attention we pay to our own current, ongoing wars.

To a man, they have urged us to learn the lessons of the past, to use the freedoms and opportunities that they have protected for us, to advance all of humankind, peacefully. And this is what veterans throughout the United States have been doing since the first Veterans Day, 90 years ago (which was known then as Armistice Day). For 90 years, Veterans have been telling us to value and glorify peace, and the spoils of peace, which are: education, health, opportunity, and prosperity.

The American Legion Post for Bradley Beach was this year unable to continue that role, single-handedly, and it is right and overdue for rest of us to initiate our own effort to acknowledge what our Veterans have done for us, and what it has cost them and their families to do it.

There are approximately 23.4 million living veterans in the United States of America. Bradley Beach is home to generations of veterans and their families. Two years ago a tree was planted at the Bradley Beach Elementary school to commemorate the life and service of John Quinlan, a young man who had lived on Monmouth Avenue, and who died serving this country in Afghanistan. Last spring, we were fortunate to have Louis Coccaro, from Second Avenue, a veteran of World War II, and a D-day invader, serve as the Grand Marshal of our Memorial Day Parade. Bill Psiuk, who lives on Fifth Avenue was recently awarded the Medal of Valor by President Obama, for volunteering to risk his own life to rescue comrades pinned down by enemy soldiers in Vietnam.

Once in a while, we pay some attention, we make a gesture, we recognize a name, or try to console a family.

For the most part, however, we take for granted the peace and ease that our soldiers, sailors, pilots, and marines have protected for us for the past two centuries. We go about our lives, with relatively little attention to the fact that we are currently actively involved in wars (or at least occupations) in two countries. While we are raking our leaves, or watching American Idol, or teaching our children to fish, we (we taxpayers, we voters, we citizens), we who allowed our leaders and legislators to take our country to war and remain there, we are creating a new generation of veterans, many of whom are returning to us deeply, possibly irreparably, damaged.

Since 2001, more than 5,200 American military personnel have been killed the line of duty in Afghanistan and Iraq.

1.9 million Americans have been deployed to war zones since October 2001.

1.1 million Americans are now veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and nearly 800,000 are on active duty.

Estimates from the Department of Defense and RAND Corporation are that approximately 370,000 veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan have traumatic brain injuries, and 350,000 have post-traumatic stress disorder. That’s nearly one in five of the veterans of those wars. Veterans are also at double or triple the risk for suicide compared with the rest of the population.

According to the Department of Defense, as of last month, the number of Americans killed, wounded in action, or medically evacuated from Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001 exceeds 90,000. That’s roughly equivalent to the death or serious injury of every single man, woman, and child in Bradley Beach, Avon, Belmar, Neptune City, Shark River Hills, Ocean Grove, Neptune, Asbury Park, and Tinton Falls, combined.

These numbers are large. These sacrifices are devastating. These veterans have earned our acknowledgment and respect, 365 days a year.

The second best thing we can do to honor our veterans is to ensure that they have the full support of their country when they return from combat– whether it is healthcare, counseling, employment, or housing that they need.

But if you ask them, I believe most of our Veterans would say, and indeed have said, again and again, that the best thing we could do to honor combat veterans would be to stop making more of them.